I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They are going to name an STD after you.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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