Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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