Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I cannot find my penis.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
