so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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