It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
