sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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