turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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