Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
