i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
