I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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