What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
