Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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