Nicole vs. Life
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
