Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
