Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
