Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
There's even glitter on my cock...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
