So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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