I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
