wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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