somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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