i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
