I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
