Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
