i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
