omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I am one with the molecules
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
