I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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