i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
