It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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