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She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
