ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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