MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
