the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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