everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
