Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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