He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
