a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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