I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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