The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
