hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
