forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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