do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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