Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
