So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
