Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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