I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
