Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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