They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
