We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
