somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I met the friendliest cop last night
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
two words: eviction party
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
