He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
