am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
